Celebrating All the Tiny Wins

This is HARD. I am frequently overwhelmed, stuck, and feel incapable. However I am celebrating the “tiny wins” that I manage, whenever they occur. It seems silly, and it helps me to remember that I lived on my own, responsible for EVERYTHING in my life, for many years. And I can do it again.

Bills – I have found most of the login information I need to continue to pay our bills on time. I never really thought about the bills, because the Basha liked to keep track of all that. Now it falls to me, and I’m making TONS of lists to keep it all straight. Luckily, I had most of the information that I needed, and I can still login as the Basha and no-one is the wiser. 😉

Sundays – This is a really hard one. For over a decade, Sundays have been “our day”. We avoid plans with other people and just relax together. Most Sundays over the last 4 or so years have involved the Basha making bacon, me making GF, sourdough, blueberry pancakes, and enjoying brunch with mimosas and jazz from Jazz24. Those traditions are gone and I have had to start other Sunday traditions. I decided to start a chilaquiles quest. The plan is to go out for Sunday chilaquiles at different (and hopefully new-to-me) places. It took me a long time to get up the courage to go do this alone. My first Sunday chilaquiles was a Frida’s on 16Septiembre. I had chilaquiles verde and a limonada mineral ($165Mx). It was really good, and I managed a meal out, on my own. Small wins.

As this win has evolved, I have found some places I really like. The “pla-” is I will continue to try new places 3 times a month and go back to, and support, the ones I have liked.

The Xterra – The Basha enjoyed messing around with the cars, especially his – the Xterra. I often “helped” but didn’t really know how to do a lot. After his death, I realized that I hadn’t driven the Xterra in a while. When it wouldn’t start I realized that “a while” had been about 3 weeks! My small win was that I removed the battery from the car, cleaned up the contacts, found the trickle charger and charged the battery. Add to that, I reinstalled the battery (with lots of dielectric grease) and the car runs again! No dainty flower here. (That battery was heavy! And the Xterra has a high engine compartment to lift it out of!)

Unfortunately it dies if I leave it parked. It took 2 days of searching in the Basha’s contacts, social media, etc. to find his mechanic. I took the Xterra to him, explained the symptoms and gave my hypothesis on the problem. When the mechanic called me back, my hypothesis was correct and after some small fixes and the Xterra runs reliably again. 🚙

Also Xterra – I had help with this one, but still a small win. In BCS (maybe all of Mexico, but I don’t know) all car registrations expire in January. That means that EVERYONE has to get new stickers in January. Luckily the police don’t really start checking until about mid-March. So I needed to get the Xterra registered for 2025. Friends helped by making the appointment at Transito, and going with me to get it done. The Basha had done the registrations since the car was nationalized, so I didn’t know the process. At the safety check, the guy asked for last year’s registration, the Basha’s driver’s license, and a “letter of permission” from my husband to allow me to register his car!! Yes, even though I was giving them money, I could not register a car where my name was not on the title. And because I am female, I need a letter of permission. OY! We bluffed through a bunch of the following stations, got everything stamped, and paid for. It was at the last window that they guy again asked for the “letter of permission”. When I said I did not have one (I told them my husband was sick 😨), he sent me to the guy who manages all the appointments. I told him that my husband was sick, and he wrote “Authorizado” on my paper and I got the 2025 stickers for the car!!! Mission accomplished. And now I know how to do it for next year (although I will find out how to change the title to my name before then).

BIG small win – We had been planning a trip for the summer to go see MotoGP. 🏍 It was a BIG trip, including some bucket-list experiences. Initially, I thought I would cancel it after his death. I am glad to say, I decided against that. I also decided that it was important for me to do it solo. We had made a lot of the plans and reservations, so I had to find everything on his computer, send it to myself, and complete the plans. It has been a challenge: separating airline reservations so I could cancel his but not mine, tracking down the MotoGP reservations to find out the details and what was still outstanding. Make the rest of the reservations, etc, etc. But the trip is on. I am excited, nervous, apprehensive. I *know* that I can do this, and I’m being very (perhaps overly) cautious about double & triple checking everything. After 29 years of traveling as a couple, this is new territory again.

There have been other wins. Most would be things that no-one but me would notice, but I celebrate them anyway. This is a brave new world, and I am doing my best to meet it bravely.